IT'S OFFICIAL!!!

Isaac is ours forever!!!! Of course we never had any doubts, but Iowa law says the baby has to live with you for 180 days before finalization can take place. We wanted to do this prior to the baby being born so it could be "all about Isaac" and it was. Isaac still isn't feeling like himself quite yet and I think he might be going through a little bit of separation anxiety, but he did quite well. The Hearing itself only lasted about 15 minutes. Our Attorney (the attorney I work for) did our case and asked us a few questions. The Judge asked us a few questions and that was that. Isaac even got very vocal towards the end and the Judge said Isaac was agreeing to the adoption too!!!! Isaac wore his special t shirt for the day too. Afterwards we went out for pizza with my parents and Ross' parents and they brought a cake from Hy-Vee with his picture on it. It was a great day. Here are some pictures. Sorry but I had to edit the shirt Isaac was wearing to protect our last name.

Do large babies run in your family?

Yep that's what the chiropractor asked me yesterday. She was quite shocked that I am only 31 weeks. She says I look more like 33 or 34 weeks. She's not the first person to think that either. So far the doctor is keeping my due date at July 7th because that's what the first ultrasound said. I'm just really hoping the baby comes before July 7th. So I'm either further along then the doctor thinks or I'm carrying a large baby, or both!! Either way I'm getting closer to delivery. I'm getting very anxious to meet this little one. We have everything ready for baby. Basically the only thing we need is an infant car seat.
Isaac has no idea what is happening, boy will he be surprised to have to share everything! Isaac is doing great though! He's 6 1/2 months and growing like crazy. He's been sleeping through the night for over a month. He sleeps from about 9 pm to 7 am. This past week he started giving up some of his naps during the day and he's not taking his formula very well at daycare. I'm really beginning to wonder if there is a tooth ready to come through.

Isaac's adoption finalization is underway. If all goes as planned we will have our court hearing on June 9th and he'll officially become Isaac Avery. We're hoping to have a small gathering to celebrate his adoption within a week or so after the hearing. Don't want to wait too long because baby #2 will be here soon.

Happy Half Birthday Isaac!

Today Isaac is 6 months old. Yesterday I was going to get his 6 month pictures taken but he woke up with a bad cold so I decided to try and rig something up myself and get his pictures taken when he's 9 months. I think some of them turned out okay. Even though he's not feeling the best, he sure is a happy baby. Wednesday will mark 180 days since Isaac has been in our home with us. We will be able to start the adoption finalization process. Hopefully we'll get a court date within a month or so. Here's our beautiful boy!!!!

Sleep...What's that?

Isaac is now 16 days old. He is the light of our lives. Overall he is a good baby and doesn't fuss a lot. He does have his nights and days mixed up though which is pretty hard for Mom and Dad (especially Mom). He tends to sleep in the early evening and by 10 or 11 pm at night he's wide awake and does not want to go to sleep at all. In fact he totally fights it. Last night we were desperate and Ross took him for a car ride which was good because he fell asleep but by the time we got back to the bedroom he was awake again. Once he does fall asleep the rest of the night is okay as he goes 3 hours at at a time. It's just that first time trying to get him to sleep. We try bathing him prior to bed to calm him down but that just seems to make him more alert. It's times like these I really wish we had a bouncer or swing. He constantly wants to be held, but I really don't like going to bed with him as I don't feel like it's very safe for him. Once Ross is done with fieldwork he will be able to help at night. I really need the help because I am very sleep deprived and it's a little frustrating. I am so thankful for Isaac. He is a true blessing to our family and I wouldn't want it any other way, but right now Mom is a little irritable and exhausted.

I'll try posting some new pictures soon.

Adjusting at home

Isaac is doing well at home. Grandma and Grandpa K, Great Grandma and Grandpa W, and Uncle Nolan all got to meet him Wednesday. Thursday my parents came over during the day to see Isaac and then Brad and Gina and Caden came Thursday night. We've had a few phone calls too so we are keeping busy. I've been doing a lot on my own as Ross has to finish combining. Once that is done he'll be able to help a lot more. It is so amazing to see Ross with his little boy. The love he has for him is amazing. I know everyone is anxious for me to post pictures on the blog. I will do so as soon as the revocation period is over which is Saturday at 5:35 pm.
Today my best friend Sheila is coming over to meet Isaac. It should be a fun day!

What an amazing day!

Today I wasn't feeling the best so I stayed home from church and Ross went. At 11:15 am this morning, Bonnie from the Mason City office called to ask permission to show our profile to a birthmom. She indicated this person had given birth yesterday at 5:35 pm to a beautiful baby boy. I told Bonnie to go ahead and show our profile. She indicated 2 other families would be shown. At 2:45 pm Bonnie called us back and informed us that birthmom has chosen us and asked if we could come to Fort Dodge to meet our son. We met the birthmom around 8:30 tonight. "N" is a wonderful person. She is so sweet and we are so thankful to her for many reasons. Ross and I then spent a couple hours with our son. He is the most beautiful baby boy I have ever seen. His Birthmom named him Avery Daniel. She told us it was totally up to us what we wanted to name him. We are going to name our little guy Isaac Avery. Birthmom and birthdad can sign termination papers anytime after Tuesday 5:35 pm. After they sign, the revocation period is 3 days. Keep us in your prayers!!!!

Disappointed

Our social worker emailed today to let us know that our profile was shown to one of the birthmoms in North Carolina today. This was the situation where the bmom's parents were encouraging her to parent. Anyway, this particular bmom selected another family. It is pretty disappointing and it sort of feels like a rejection. There are still 2 other bmoms in North Carolina that may be looking at our profile in the near future. Ross and I have decided we do not want to be notified when our profile goes out unless the agency needs our permission about a certain situation first. I think it will be easier not knowing.

Profile going to North Carolina

Today we got an email from our social worker. She was wondering if she could send our profile to North Carolina for a few birthmoms to look at. There are 3 pregnant African American moms right now and she briefly described the three situations.

Situation #1- In this situation there is unknown drug or alcohol use and the birthfather is aware of the situation. The birthmother is 20 years old and they have just begun to work with her, so some information is limited.

Situation #2- In this situation the birthmother is 18 years old who is looking at adoption. There has been no drug or alcohol use and the birthfather is in support of adoption. The birthmother's mom is encouraging the birthmother to parent, but the birthmother is still considering adoption.

Situation #3- In this situation the birthmother is 19 and is looking at adoption. She has been receiving prenatal care, and the birthfather is not involved in the process. The birthmother is receiving little support through the pregnancy.

We decided to pass on situation #1 because we really feel we need to know if there was any type of drug or alcohol usage. We may not know anything for a while as it's up to the birthmom as to when she looks at profiles. She may wait a little closer to her pregnancy. In all of these situations, they are all due within 3 months. I looked up North Carolina state law and it appears that after the parents sign the papers, they have 5 days to change their mind. If we would happen to be chosen we could end up having stay in NC for 3 weeks or so.

Prayers would be greatly accepted at this time!

9 months today!

Today marks our 9 month wait. I can't say it has been easy because it hasn't, at least not lately. I know that we could wait another 9 months, maybe even another whole year. It's just a matter of the right birth mom finding us. It's just bittersweet I guess you could say. If I were actually pregnant (instead of paper pregnant in the adoption world) I would be expecting a little one any time now. Unfortunately that is not the case. I have contacted our social worker and director at Bethany. Both have informed me they are still working with various birth moms in various stages of their pregnancy. Some are due yet this year and some are due in 2008. I know on the Bethany boards there are two Iowa gals that have been placed this month. Both were very fast placements. Baby was born and they were with their child within a day or two. Both of these women waited about 10 months so I could be next.

Sometimes I feel like all of our friends will be done having children by the time we receive our little one so that's hard too. I know we will get our baby some day, but it couldn't come fast enough for me.

Biological vs. Adopted

So I have been contemplating an issue. I belong to several adoption/infertility boards and I came across a post that really hit home.

Hypotetically speaking lets say we are placed with a son or daughter. I'm at the store buying an adorable outfit for my child. The cashier strikes up a conversation with me and says "oh for a new little one", what should my response be?

A. Yes for my adopted son/daughter

B. Yes for my son/daughter

Well if you answered B. you are correct. Now I'm not saying I am planning on hiding my child's adoption because that is furthest from the truth, but I honestly don't think this is something that needs to be shared with the entire world. If we would adopt a child of another race it would be obvious he or she is adopted so that wouldn't even need to be brought up. Our son or daughter will be our child whether it's through birth or adoption and that's all anyone needs to know. As our child grows older I firmly believe it is up to them whether or not they want to share their adoption story. If they aren't comfortable sharing it with others then we're not either.

So as you may be able to tell I have been reading up on adoption. I can honestly say I have learned a lot since we first started this process.

We are nearing 8 1/2 months now. I can't believe how fast time is just flying by. The weather is really changing, sure was cool out this morning. I think we went straight from hot summer days to cool fall days. At least for this week anyway, next week could be a whole different story. That's IOWA weather I guess.

Adoption Scam

I don't get the point in adoption scams. I mean obviously the truth comes out sooner or later. Well I was scammed. Last week I got an email from someone stating they had a 3 week old AA/CA daughter. She indicated she could not take care of the baby and wondered if I was interested. She sent 2 pictures of the baby. After further communication with her, she sent two more pictures that were supposed to be of herself with the baby. So many red flags came up with this situation. First of all she referred to herself as a birthparent and the father as the birthfather. Normally expectant moms don't refer themselves as a birthparent until after they have placed their child for adoption. At this point she should be considered a parent. Second of all, the way she was looking at the baby in the picture, she definitely did not look like someone ready to relinquish their child. She would never tell me why she felt she needed to place the child for adoption and would never tell me what state she lived in. I also noticed that the emails she sent came from Vanessa Maya. In her first email she signed her name Vanessa. In her second email she signed her name Maya. In another email where the pictures were attached, the pictures were called Alexis and Claire. I informed her that in order to consider this situation she must contact Bethany. She informed me she would do so.

I didn't hear from her today so I knew it was really looking suspicious. I made a post on the Bethany discussion board and found out that another waiting adoptive parent was scammed the same way. She was sent pictures of this Mom and baby last night as well.

It really makes you wonder why on earth this person took time to respond to emails, send pictures, etc. She never requested anything from me so it was basically just a waste of time.

All I have to say is thank goodness for "gut instincts" and thank goodness for Adoption agencies!!!!

A Rollercoaster ride

Our social worker Renae is on maternity leave now so we have been assigned to a new social worker Kim. We have never met her but have corresponded with her via email. She seems like a wonderful person and very informative. Last Thursday she emailed to let us know there was a 19 year old Hispanic Mom that is due in July. She came from Mexico recently and Birthdad is still there. She does not speak any English. They were waiting to receive medical information before deciding whether to send our profile out to this mom or not. The social worker from Mason City went to the birthmom's clinic this week and waited for 1 1/2 hours to speak to the clinic. She was only able to speak to the clinic personnell for about 5 minutes. The social worker encouraged the gal at the clinic to have the birthmom call them. As of this date they have not heard from Birthmom so aren't really sure what is going on. It appears Birthmom may have decided to parent after all. I'm actually handling this pretty well. My only concern is the child. I hope and pray she does what is best for the baby. It appears she has no financial support and no family support, so obviously the best interest of the child is adoption. We just pray for this birthmom and child no matter what happens.

On another note, we have hit our 5 month mark. So we're hoping we're half way there to meeting our child.

Song of a Waiting Mother

I’m pregnant but my tummy isn’t showing,
And no one ever calls me “little mom”.
My neighbors simply aren’t overflowing
With questions that I’d handle with aplomb.
There are no special clothes to mark my waiting.
Nobody stops and smile as I pass by.
The absence of a due date is frustrating,
And looking at the nursery makes me cry.
When I’m “overdue”, no one will worry.
The phone won’t ring and ring as friends check in.
I can’t induce my labor in a hurry,
My new life as a parent to begin.
Adoption is a wearisome endeavour,
And waiting all alone is not much fun.
To be “with child” a year seems like forever …
Dear God, we’re ready: please send us our son or daughter!

Profile being shown!

Our Social worker emailed to let us know that our profile went out to a potential birth mother yesterday. This could be very exciting or it could turn out to be nothing. We are praying hard for this Birth mother and the decision she has to make. We don't have any details and we don't know how many profiles the birth mom is viewing. We should know something in a few weeks. At least our profile is being shown, that is very exciting considering we have only been waiting 3 months.
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**UPDATE**

Our social worker emailed to let us know that our profile was returned to the office. The birthfather's family is helping him to make a parenting plan. I totally understand and respect the decision this family has made. I pray it is in the best interest of the child.

Going on Month #3

Well we're about a week away from being on the waiting list for 3 months. I can honestly say time is starting to pick up the pace a little bit. For me that is a darn good thing. I check in with our social worker every few weeks. I do know that our profile is being viewed which we are very thankful for. This week we were asked to consider a situation in which a baby to be born would be 75% African American and 25% Caucasion. We initially selected that we would be open to a biracial child, but African American was not one of our choices. We really thought this over and prayed a lot. We really aren't 100% sure if this is right for us or not. That being said, at this point we don't believe our family is the best fit for this child.

Currently I am working on our spare bedroom getting it fixed up and moving some furniture out of the Pooh room to be placed in the spare bedroom. Ross laid the carpet in the spare bedroom and now we need to get the curtain panels hemed and the border put up. Then the furniture can go in. Once that is done, then we can really begin getting the nursery set up.

Well that's our update for now. Hope all is well with everyone!!! I can't believe Easter is right around the corner.

One Month Down...

Well we've been waiting for a little over a month now. In a way it's gone pretty fast, but yet in another way it's gone slow. The WAITING part is the hardest part of all. We basically have no idea when we will get picked. It could be 2 months from now, it could be 2 years from now. So in a nutshell I don't have much to report. I did receive an email from the Bethany Social worker who informed us that our profile has been looked at already, but unfortunately no takers.

We're starting to buy baby things here and there. Next weekend we're going to stop at Babies R Us and see if we can find a crib. We would like to get the Nursery set up in case we would be matched soon and wouldn't have time to complete it. I've also started registering online at Walmart. I decided not to post the link to our baby registry as it gives out identifying information, but for those of you who want to take a look, just search for our last name. I think I put in a fake due date of 1/3/08. Apparently websites that offer baby registries don't take into consideration that adoptive parents need registries too so therefore I ALWAYS have to put in a due date.

Well that's our update for now. Please continue to keep us in your prayers.

Approved and Waiting

Well it's now official. As of January 3, 2007, Ross and I are officially waiting to adopt. We now wait for a birth mother to select us to adopt her baby. It could go fast and it could take a while. After speaking with our social worker, it is amazing how each birthmom has different likes and dislikes. Our social worker said a birthmom could like us because we share the same interest in a sport, because we have a dog, because we both work, because we live on a farm, because we're Baptist, the list could go on and on. I just hope and pray God leads our birthmom to us soon!! The homestudy process wasn't as hard as we anticipated. In fact it only took about 6 weeks to complete. There was a lot of paperwork to fill out but I am so happy that we don't have to redo that again. If we do have to renew our homestudy there are only a couple documents that have to be updated thankfully. We pray we don't have to update the homestudy though. It's all in God's hands now. Thanks for continuing to support us.

Starting the ADOPTION Process

Well as some of you may already know, Ross and I have been trying to conceive for quite some time. We have done IVF with Dr. Hansen of Sioux Falls, which was unsuccessful. Instead of going through more fertility medications and heartache with no guarantee we have decided to move onto the adoption process. Yesterday we sent in our paperwork. Now we wait for it to be processed and to set up an appointment. I hope this is a much quicker process then the last 2 1/2 years have been. Thanks for your support.