WAIT (a poem)

Wait Desperately, helplessly, longingly I cried,
Quietly, patiently, lovingly He replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate.
And the Master so gently said, “Child, you must wait.”

“Wait! You say wait!” my indignant reply,
Lord, I need answers - I need to know why.
Is Your hand shortened, or have You not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I’m claiming Your word.”

My future and all to which I can relate,
Hangs in the balance and You tell me ‘wait’?
I’m needing a ‘yes’—a go ahead sign,
Or at least a ‘no’ to which I can resign.

And Lord, I’ve been asking and this is my cry,
I’m weary of asking, I need a reply,
Then quietly, softly I learned of my fate,
As my Master replied, once again, “You must wait.”

So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut.
And I grumbled to God—”So I’m waiting, for what?”
He seemed then to kneel and His eyes met with mine,
And He tenderly said, “I could give you a sign.”

“I could shake the heavens, darken the sun,
Raise up the dead, cause the mountain to run.
All you seek, I could give and pleased you would be.
You would have what you want, but you wouldn’t know Me.”

“You’d not know the depth of My love for each saint.
You’d not know the power that I give to the faint.
You’d not learn to see through clouds of despair.
You’d not learn to trust just by knowing I’m there.”

“You’d not know the joy of resting in Me.
When darkness and silence was all you could see.
You’d never experience that fullness of love,
As the peace of my Spirit descends like a dove.”

“You would know that I give and save for a start,
But you’d not know the depth of the beat of My heart,
The glow of My comfort, late in the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight,

“The depth that’s beyond getting just what you ask,
Of an infinite God that makes what you have last!
And you never would know should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that, “My grace is sufficient for thee.”

Yes, your dreams for that loved one,
One night would come true.
But oh the loss if you lost what I’m doing to you.

So be silent, my child, and in time you will see,
That the greatest of gifts is to get to know Me.
And though oft may My answers seem terribly late,
That My most precious answer of all is still ‘wait’.”

by Russell Kelfer

First Road Race

Well I had my very first road race on June 16th. I ran the 2 mile race. I walked a small portion of the race. I was very pleased with my results. I finished 5th out of 8 in my age bracket with a time of 22:05. I placed 39 out of 60 in the 2 mile with all ages combined so I think I did fairly well for my first time. I'm hoping to try the 5k next year. This is definitely an improvement considering I've never really been a runner. Heck I never even went out for track in High School. I didn't really even train for the race. I mean I went on the treadmill about 4 days a week and I would run some of it, but that's about. I entered the race basically to prove to myself that I can do it and now I know I can. I guess we'll see how next year goes and how I am doing in the exercise department. Hopefully I can keep up with it and not slack off at all.

A Rollercoaster ride

Our social worker Renae is on maternity leave now so we have been assigned to a new social worker Kim. We have never met her but have corresponded with her via email. She seems like a wonderful person and very informative. Last Thursday she emailed to let us know there was a 19 year old Hispanic Mom that is due in July. She came from Mexico recently and Birthdad is still there. She does not speak any English. They were waiting to receive medical information before deciding whether to send our profile out to this mom or not. The social worker from Mason City went to the birthmom's clinic this week and waited for 1 1/2 hours to speak to the clinic. She was only able to speak to the clinic personnell for about 5 minutes. The social worker encouraged the gal at the clinic to have the birthmom call them. As of this date they have not heard from Birthmom so aren't really sure what is going on. It appears Birthmom may have decided to parent after all. I'm actually handling this pretty well. My only concern is the child. I hope and pray she does what is best for the baby. It appears she has no financial support and no family support, so obviously the best interest of the child is adoption. We just pray for this birthmom and child no matter what happens.

On another note, we have hit our 5 month mark. So we're hoping we're half way there to meeting our child.

Weekend with my Goddaughter/Niece Norah

I hadn't seen my sweet Norah Bear for almost 3 months. It's amazing how much she's grown in that short time. She's now 9 months old, crawling everywhere and getting into everything. I bet she'll be walking in no time. It took her a little while to get used to me again but once she did she loved playing with me and letting me hold her. She went to Ross fairly quickly too. My parents brought Michelle and Norah to my work and then we went out for dinner at Shari's Kitchen. Then I took Michelle on a tour of our home. She loved the house and thought it was wonderful. Norah even got to try out the changing pad in the Nursery. Then we headed back to Milford. Michelle and I made a quick trip to Walmart and then back to Mom and Dad's house. Ross was able to spend a little time with Norah before we left. He is so good with her. He took her outside behind the house and picked a few tulips. He's going to be a wonderful father. Here's some fun pictures of the weekend with Norah Bear!!!!

Uncle Ross and Norah Bear!

Sweet Sleeping Angel!


Ross picked a tulip for Norah...awww!

Norah and her Godparents. So sweet.

Aunt Amber and little Norah

Norah riding her Piglet.

Fun in the sun!

Our niece Emily came to stay with us this past weekend. Ross was busy in the field so Em and I got a lot of one on one time. I'm sure she was very pleased with that. We enjoy spoiling her when we can. We went to Slade's for dinner which she totally loved. This girl could live on ice cream I swear. I also had to get a few things at the Dollar Store so I took her with me and let her pick out a couple toys which was fun for her. Then we ventured over to the grocery store for some snacks. Later on we went to the park in Georged and played for an hour or so. Then it was back to the farm to play with the kittens and Sam. We had a minor meltdown when it appeared we wouldn't be fitting swimming into our schedule for this trip. I assured Em we would do it again when Kim comes along. I was able to convince her that playing with the kitties, Sam, going to Slades, the grocery store, going to the Dollar Store and getting toys, playing in the house, going to the park was actually more fun then a couple hours at the pool. I captured some pictures of her at the park. She's such a pretty girl and oh so funny.

A quick ride in the tractor with Ross.


Emily in the train at the park


On the monkey bars, I love the blue background


All Star on the teeter totter

Just being cute as ever.

Song of a Waiting Mother

I’m pregnant but my tummy isn’t showing,
And no one ever calls me “little mom”.
My neighbors simply aren’t overflowing
With questions that I’d handle with aplomb.
There are no special clothes to mark my waiting.
Nobody stops and smile as I pass by.
The absence of a due date is frustrating,
And looking at the nursery makes me cry.
When I’m “overdue”, no one will worry.
The phone won’t ring and ring as friends check in.
I can’t induce my labor in a hurry,
My new life as a parent to begin.
Adoption is a wearisome endeavour,
And waiting all alone is not much fun.
To be “with child” a year seems like forever …
Dear God, we’re ready: please send us our son or daughter!

Profile being shown!

Our Social worker emailed to let us know that our profile went out to a potential birth mother yesterday. This could be very exciting or it could turn out to be nothing. We are praying hard for this Birth mother and the decision she has to make. We don't have any details and we don't know how many profiles the birth mom is viewing. We should know something in a few weeks. At least our profile is being shown, that is very exciting considering we have only been waiting 3 months.
***********************************************************************************

**UPDATE**

Our social worker emailed to let us know that our profile was returned to the office. The birthfather's family is helping him to make a parenting plan. I totally understand and respect the decision this family has made. I pray it is in the best interest of the child.

Guest Room is finished!

I am so happy. The guest room is now completed. It started off with one purple while with darker purple Moon's and the rest of the walls white. Why I wanted purple, I have no idea. I just know that we would like 2 children and after our first child outgrows the Winnie the Pooh theme, I'd like the next child to go to the guest bedroom. We painted all of the walls a medium brown color. Then I found this cute border in Sioux Falls of lab puppies. So we hung the border in the middle of the wall all the way around. We moved in my blue chest of drawers and bed. I bought a light brown comforter for the bed. We also put light tan carpet down over the hardwood floor. Then I found some nice multi brown colored window panels and they looks so nice in the room. I love it. My Mom helped me do most of it. It looks great!!!!! I enlarged some pictures of Sam and Shadow and hung them in frames and put them in the room. The finishing touch was the blue lava lamp on top of the dresser. Now when we have a child ready to move into the room, the brown wals should be able to go, unless of course it's a girl and they really want pink, I think we'll deal with that when the time comes :-)

Going on Month #3

Well we're about a week away from being on the waiting list for 3 months. I can honestly say time is starting to pick up the pace a little bit. For me that is a darn good thing. I check in with our social worker every few weeks. I do know that our profile is being viewed which we are very thankful for. This week we were asked to consider a situation in which a baby to be born would be 75% African American and 25% Caucasion. We initially selected that we would be open to a biracial child, but African American was not one of our choices. We really thought this over and prayed a lot. We really aren't 100% sure if this is right for us or not. That being said, at this point we don't believe our family is the best fit for this child.

Currently I am working on our spare bedroom getting it fixed up and moving some furniture out of the Pooh room to be placed in the spare bedroom. Ross laid the carpet in the spare bedroom and now we need to get the curtain panels hemed and the border put up. Then the furniture can go in. Once that is done, then we can really begin getting the nursery set up.

Well that's our update for now. Hope all is well with everyone!!! I can't believe Easter is right around the corner.

Keeping Busy!

Well I have been getting involved in a few projects around the house to keep myself busy. Ross is starting to work a little later at night, he will soon be preparing to get back into the field. I am currently working on a few Winnie the Pooh cross stitch projects that will be hung up in the "soon to be Nursery". I am also doing a few things in our guest bedroom that will keep me busy. My goal is to turn it into a "puppy" theme room. I have tons of pictures of Sam and Shadow so I know I could hang those up in there. I also found a cool puppy border that would work. I am excited to get it finished up. Hopefully the girls will like it and want to sleep in there when they come visit.

In a way it feels like time is creeping by, but yet our 2 month wait has gone pretty fast, if that makes any sense. We did make some revisions to our online and hardcopy profiles. The hardcopies at the offices have been changed. We're waiting for the online profile to get changed.

Keep checking back for any updates. Thanks for the continued support.

One Month Down...

Well we've been waiting for a little over a month now. In a way it's gone pretty fast, but yet in another way it's gone slow. The WAITING part is the hardest part of all. We basically have no idea when we will get picked. It could be 2 months from now, it could be 2 years from now. So in a nutshell I don't have much to report. I did receive an email from the Bethany Social worker who informed us that our profile has been looked at already, but unfortunately no takers.

We're starting to buy baby things here and there. Next weekend we're going to stop at Babies R Us and see if we can find a crib. We would like to get the Nursery set up in case we would be matched soon and wouldn't have time to complete it. I've also started registering online at Walmart. I decided not to post the link to our baby registry as it gives out identifying information, but for those of you who want to take a look, just search for our last name. I think I put in a fake due date of 1/3/08. Apparently websites that offer baby registries don't take into consideration that adoptive parents need registries too so therefore I ALWAYS have to put in a due date.

Well that's our update for now. Please continue to keep us in your prayers.

Approved and Waiting

Well it's now official. As of January 3, 2007, Ross and I are officially waiting to adopt. We now wait for a birth mother to select us to adopt her baby. It could go fast and it could take a while. After speaking with our social worker, it is amazing how each birthmom has different likes and dislikes. Our social worker said a birthmom could like us because we share the same interest in a sport, because we have a dog, because we both work, because we live on a farm, because we're Baptist, the list could go on and on. I just hope and pray God leads our birthmom to us soon!! The homestudy process wasn't as hard as we anticipated. In fact it only took about 6 weeks to complete. There was a lot of paperwork to fill out but I am so happy that we don't have to redo that again. If we do have to renew our homestudy there are only a couple documents that have to be updated thankfully. We pray we don't have to update the homestudy though. It's all in God's hands now. Thanks for continuing to support us.

New Year!

Well here we are in 2007. Boy did the holidays seem to go by so fast. All is well here. We are oficially done with our Adoption homestudy and are on the Bethany Website for waiting families. We're hoping to bring a miracle home this year!!! I've joined a couple online adoption boards so I am really hoping that will help with the wait. It's amazing how fast some placements go while others take a while. It all depends on the birthparent(s) likes and dislikes. We originally thought about going with International adoption but with that, there are a lot of hoops to jump through when dealing with other countries. Plus the travel time and not knowing if we can be away from the farm for an extended period of time. So we believe domestic (US) is the way to go. Thanks for everybody's support .

1st Homestudy Interview Completed

Yesterday Ross and I had our first Homestudy Interview at the agency. It was pretty painless. We were asked a lot of questions about our marriage, how we plan to parent, why we want to adopt, about our infertility, if our family is supportive and so on. We have our 2nd interview in early December. These will be individual interviews about ourselves, growing up, relationships with our family, and characteristics of our family members. The third interview is at our home. The social worker will take a look at the house, ask a few more questions and give us the opportunity to ask any questions we might have. Hopefully we can get these interviews completed before Christmas. Things are progressing quickly. I never realized how much work goes into just getting approved for adoption. Thanks for all the support.

Starting the ADOPTION Process

Well as some of you may already know, Ross and I have been trying to conceive for quite some time. We have done IVF with Dr. Hansen of Sioux Falls, which was unsuccessful. Instead of going through more fertility medications and heartache with no guarantee we have decided to move onto the adoption process. Yesterday we sent in our paperwork. Now we wait for it to be processed and to set up an appointment. I hope this is a much quicker process then the last 2 1/2 years have been. Thanks for your support.

House Project!

Ross finally got my house project done last month and I am very pleased how it turned out. Only took 3 years to get it done :-) He put in all new pavers for our patio. He also planted the rose bushes I
wanted with the help of his Mom. I think the house looks great now!!! I love it and the rose bushes are so pretty when in bloom. Thanks to Janelle, Nolan and Roger the project got done!!!! Yeah...now what other project can I find for Ross to do???? Hmmm.

This is the little corner between the garage and entry way. I love how it turned out. Janelle even found a little pig to stick in with the roses.

This is in front of the house. Now the cats can't lay in the dirt and use it as a litter box!!! Ha!

This is the patio right by the entry way. I love how it turned out. Now we need some steps leading to the door. I wonder how many years it will take for that to be completed.

And last but not least, here is the house. It looks so nice doesn't it?

Kittens on the Farm

Today is such a nice day out. The kittens are quite playful today, and some are now exhausted. I captured a few pictures, couldn't seem to find Tiggy anywhere, maybe shes off hunting for a snack!!! Here are pictures of Nemo, Lucy and Tubby!!!! What a trio!!

Nemo sitting in the leaves.

I thought this was the cutest picture. If you can't tell he's sitting by the water hose.

Lucy sleeping on a nice fall day!

Tubby sitting on the patio chair. He's such a funny kitty! I miss his bright blue eyes.

Ryan & Michelle's Wedding Celebration

Ryan & Michelle had their wedding celebration on September 22nd in Rochester. Many family members and friends were there. We had such a wonderful time. My brother even asked me to dance, how about that. I am so happy for them and we all LOVE Michelle. We stayed in a nice motel that had a pool and slides for the kids. Kim and Emily and Daryan really loved it. They spent some of the reception in the pool. There were a lot of kids at the reception so that was nice, they even had some kid games. We really enjoyed the weekend, but it went by way too fast as usual. Here are a few pictures of the wonderful time we had. I also love being an Aunt if you couldn't tell. Norah Ann is a sweetie!

Aunt Amber & Norah...special bonding time!

Uncle Ross, Aunt Amber, and Norah. So cute!


Ryan and Amber dancing...this doesn't happen often!!!!


Amber & Ross at the reception!


The Happy Couple!

Greetings

Well I just got into the blogging business (ha ha)! Life on the farm is great. Ross is busy farming and raising hogs. He started combining tonight. I can't believe it's almost October, where has the time gone. Seems like just yesterday Ross and I were getting married and here we are 3 years later. I am still working in town at the law office and enjoying it.
Our lab/golden retriever Sam is so happy we rescued him from the Humane Society. He is the center of attention and loves it. I always wanted a lap dog but never dreamed it would be a 90 pound lap dog. We love him dearly though.

There hasn't been too much excitement in our lives. Now that it is harvest season Ross is spending more time outside and doesn't get in until 9 or 10 o'clock at night. So we don't see as much of each other. I'm always happy when the end of harvest rolls around. It's nice to be able to sit down together and have a meal. I don't care too much for eating at 9:00 at night so needless to say I make supper, and Ross just eats his whenever he gets in. It works for us I guess. I did tell him that once we have children, I really don't think they'll want to eat supper at 9:00 at night so he may just have to find a way to come in and then go back out. It's easier when he's farming at our place but a lot of the time he's over by Nolan's or his Dad's which is a little harder for him to get away.

Ross and I have been making weekly visits to the doctor. I won't go into detail, but lets just say that will probably be coming to an end soon. Keep watching for updated posts and you see what I mean.

Thanks for reading my very first blog. I think I'm going to like blogging!!!!!